I turned on the Oprah show when I was writing my book and heard a woman tell of her story of domestic violence. She was married to a cop and he beat her senselessly. Even the kids were scared to leave her alone in fear of her safety. She could not think of a way out because with his search tools as a cop, he could find her almost anywhere. When she called the domestic abuse hotline, they said one thing, “Save your money!” Why? Because she
would have to pay cash for everything so there was no way to trace her financial steps. Cash was her key to safety. This is true for many women in bad relationships or marriages. We often feel trapped! Women are scared to walk away because they are often broke-emotionally and financially. Saving money can be your only safety rope. Let’s end this cycle of abuse by finding a way to save. Each small step adds up. Starting with just $5 a day. This amount of money can be found in many small ways- no eating out, no buying coffee out, no premium cable package or DVR, no texting privileges on your phone. Decide today what your safety is worth and make changes that lead you to freedom. I don’t want anyone in a situation where they are trapped.
The end of the show shocked me because this woman ended up killing her husband out of personal safety. He was about to kill her. She said she would rather go to jail for life than have to spend another day in the house with him. She came on the show to warn women that if you even see small indications of controlling behavior to run the other way and run fast! This is my plea to women to please not just get lost in the feeling of “being in love” but truly look at the qualities that your boyfriend expresses. He is usually on his best behavior when you are dating. What would happen if certain qualities got worse over time? Could you bear it like his bad temper? Would you want your kids to have him as a role model?
Remember to not ignore how he handles money. What are his feelings on credit cards? Does he believe in debt? Does he know the difference between good and bad debt? how much money does he spend eating out? Does he save money? These answers are SO important and cannot be ignored!!!!Money is the number one reason for divorce in America. Don’t become a statistic. I have definitely walked away from many guys i would have loved to date because I knew they were not financially responsible and we would not make it long term. Women-value yourself enough to know it is ok to walk away! I can promise you will always find another man around the corner.